


Sincerely & With Love

by foureyed_tozier



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: 80's Music, Bisexual Jonathan Byers, Bisexual Nancy Wheeler, Bisexual Steve Harrington, Canon Compliant, Declarations Of Love, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Monster Hunters, Past Steve Harrington/Nancy Wheeler, Polyamory, Road Trips, Sexuality Crisis, Steve's Pov, They're like the holy trinity of bi polyams, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2019-07-03 10:15:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15816840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foureyed_tozier/pseuds/foureyed_tozier
Summary: "Let's go.""Now?""Now.""Together?""Together." Nancy glances at Jonathan, as if sensing the reason for Steve's uncertainty. "That is, if you want to." There's a beat of meaningful silence, and Nancy's next words are small. "Do you want to?"Steve's gaze drops to their entwined hands. He should say no. He should laugh in her face and walk away, back to his nice, perfect life, before she can break his heart all over again."Yes."





	1. Chapter 1

The first day of June begins as all the others had; with the smell of coffee and bright light filtering through the curtains.

 

Steve groans and stretches, back arching off the mattress. The grey sweater he's wearing rides up, exposing his stomach to the cool air. Grumbling, he pulls it back down. The serenity of the morning is broken by a sudden realization; Jonathan and Nancy are leaving.

 

Today is the day they're heading out to kick some ass on some sort of twisted road trip to New York, killing monsters while preparing for college.

 

Steve felt the pull of desperate longing he always did when he thought about the trip. He senselessly wishes that he could join them; that he could flee on a kick-ass monster hunting road adventure, escape from the boring life planned out for him, but no. His destiny is here, in shithole Hawkins, Indiana, working for his father and living in a nice house on a nice street with a nice wife and nice kids. 

 

With another sickening jolt, Steve realizes that he has a date with- er, that Jonathan and Nancy had asked him to meet them at 10 today. Taunting numbers inform him that it's already 9. Steve lets out a drawn-out groan, pushing himself up to a sitting position. 

 

He manages a polo, some nice jeans, and a touch of Farrah Fawcett before heading out the door, car keys in hand.

 

He makes it to the diner without incident; not many people are up yet, and the other drivers are few and far between. 

 

Steve ducks inside with anxiety gnawing at the pit of his stomach, properly ruining his appetite. After a few moments of awkward scanning, Steve spots them in a booth by a window, fingers locked and heads bowed, whispering to each other. It isn't an uncommon sight, especially not after they'd discovered the monster-hunting network, but it still sends an unpleasant shock through Steve. He brushes it off and slides across from them in the booth, clearing his throat awkwardly. 

 

Their heads snap up in perfect unison, faces mirrored expressions of alarm. 

 

Nancy speaks first, her words accompanied by a warm smile. "Steve, hi!"

 

"Hi." Steve tries to return the smile and probably fails. He drums his fingers nervously on the table.

 

"We have- well..." Nancy trails off, glancing to Jonathan for support. Jonathan smiles and squeezes her hand reassuringly, and instead of being filled with warm affection like he was supposed to, a sour taste filled Steve's mouth, and he looks away from their hands. It still hurts, sometimes, even though Steve has tried his hardest to get over Nancy, he really has, he can't stop loving her. He doesn't think he ever will. 

 

Nancy continues talking, and it jolts Steve back to reality. "We have a proposition for you." Steve's eyebrows creep towards his hairline.  _What's that supposed to mean?_  Nancy takes a deep breath. "We want you to come with us."

 

The verbalization of the thoughts from not even an hour and a half ago is almost too much to bear, and it takes Steve a full 10 seconds to process the words. "What? Why?"

 

"Because we need you," Jonathan says simply. Nancy leans forward, her gaze sharp and intense, her words moreso.

 

"Let's go."

  
"Now?"

 

"Now."

 

"Together?"

 

"Together." Nancy glances at Jonathan, as if sensing the reason for Steve's uncertainty. "That is, if you want to." There's a beat of meaningful silence, and Nancy's next words are small. "Do you want to?"

 

Steve's gaze drops to their entwined hands. He should say no. He should laugh in her face and walk away, back to his nice, perfect life, before she can break his heart all over again. 

 

"Yes."

 

The violent, raw need of the word tears out of Steve's throat with a ferverence that surprises even him, and the word sits too loud in the near-empty diner. Jonathan and Nancy don't seem to mind, but a nearby waitress gives him the stink-eye. 

 

Jonathan sags in relief, and smiles brilliantly. "Pack a bag!"

 

* * *

 

The note Steve writes is short and sweet. Steve leaves his keys on top of it, and the silver winks up at him tauntingly. 

 

"Fuck off," Steve tells them. "I'm going to a new life."

 

It hits Steve that he's talking to an inanimate object, and he walks away, abandoning them on the marble countertop. 

 

Nancy and Jonathan have already returned from their houses. Jonathan's car is parked on the side of the road, and Nancy is sitting on the hood, Jonathan standing between her legs. At the sight of them, Steve wonders how the kids took the news that they were bringing Steve along with them. Badly, he hopes, perhaps selfishly. He hopes they'll miss him as much as they claimed they were going to miss Jonathan and Nancy. 

 

Steve approaches the car with a smile on his face and a suitcase in his hands. "We ready to go?"

 

Jonathan backs away from Nancy, and she slides off the car with a thud. "Yep," He says, popping the 'p'. 

 

"Great!" Steve puts his bag in the back and slides into the passenger seat after only a few moments of arguing with Nancy; she claimed she wanted the back to herself. 

 

Jonathan twisted in the driver's seat to look at Steve, a smile on his lips and a twinkle in his eyes. "Let's go," He says, and Steve's heart skips a beat. 

 

_Fuck,_  he thinks as Jonathan turns the key in the ignition. 

 

This trip was going to be harder than he thought. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He lets his eyes flutter shut as he considers the events of the day. His thoughts linger on Nancy’s smile, and Jonathan’s laugh, the slope of his sun-kissed neck as he tossed his head back in laughter and the shape of her rose-pink lips. In that moment, Steve understands why Jonathan spends his life behind the camera; Steve wants to burn that image into his memory and look back on it at his leisure.

The first day of the trip is one that will stand out in Steve’s memory forever.

 

They stop at the tiny gas station and buy a ton of assorted snacks and two packs of cigarettes. Jonathan lectures them about money, but he lets them but the junk food anyway.

 

The trio passes around the bag of gummy bears, fingers brushing and smiles warm with laughter.

 

The trio.

 

Steve likes the sound of that.

 

They drive and drive and drive, swapping stories and sharing laughter. They drive until the sun paints the sky in red and gold. They don’t go to a motel; they’re too cheap for that. Instead, Jonathan pulls over and Nancy takes up the back seat, balling up one of his sweaters and using it as a pillow.

 

Steve waits for her breathing to slow and slips out of the car, climbing on the hood and leaning his head on the windshield. He lets his eyes flutter shut as he considers the events of the day. His thoughts linger on Nancy’s smile, and Jonathan’s laugh, the slope of his sun-kissed neck as he tossed his head back in laughter and the shape of her rose-pink lips. In that moment, Steve understands why Jonathan spends his life behind the camera; Steve wants to burn that image into his memory and look back on it at his leisure.

 

The car shakes, bringing Steve back to the present. He opens his eyes to see Jonathan, his elbows propped on the car, and unlit cigarette extended towards Steve. “Want one?” He asks.

 

Steve’s mouth screws to one side. “Uh, sure.” He plucks the cigarette from Jonathan’s fingers and attempts to emulate the way Jonathan held it.

 

Jonathan’s lips quirk to one side. “First time?”

 

Steve nods, and Jonathan laughs. Steve joins in with a breathless laugh of his own, and for a moment, they simply look at each other.

 

“Here,” Jonathan says, breaking the silence. He lights himself a cigarette, then lights Steve’s. “Watch.” He brings the cigarette to his lips and inhales, eyes fluttering closed as he exhales softly, the cloud of smoke floating in the air. Opening his eyes, he smiles. “Your turn.”

 

Steve shrugs and attempts to mimic his actions. Steve’s eyes do not close in an expression of bliss. He gags, his stomach churning. For a moment, he is afraid of emptying his stomach of the multicolored gummy bears as he leans over the edge of the hood, but he manages to keep it down.

 

When he finally rises, scrubbing at his mouth, Jonathan looks amused, flicking ash onto the road. “That was awful,” Steve comments.

 

Jonathan laughs again. “You get used to it.” He lifts his cigarette back to his lips, as if demonstrating. “Hm.” Steve takes another drag, and this time the burning is lessened. He coughs, crinkling his nose at the taste. Jonathan laughs.

 

Steve could get used to that laugh.

 

* * *

 

When Steve wakes up the next morning, they are already moving.

 

“Morning, sleepyhead,” Jonathan teases. Steve grumbles, stretching and shielding his eyes from the scalding morning light. Jonathan tosses something at him, and it hits him square in the chest.

 

Steve yelps, a sound he’ll vehemently deny later, and curls in on himself, snapping his arms to his chest and squeezing his knees together. The bag of gummy bears falls in his lap.

 

Jonathan promptly dies of laughter, hunching and pressing his forehead to the wheel. At Steve’s protest, he struggles to sit back up, wheezing.

 

Steve glares, popping a few gummy bears into his mouth. (Not the green ones, though. Nancy loves the green ones.) “Not exactly a healthy breakfast,” he snarks, tossing the bag back at Jonathan. Jonathan catches it with one hand without looking, further wounding Steve’s pride. Steve huffs, crossing his arms.

 

“It’s either this or chips,” Jonathan says, eating a few bears himself. ( _Gold_ , Steve notes. _He favors the gold_.)

 

“It’s not good for our health,” Steve argues, and Jonathan throws the bag back at him. This time, he catches it, sticking his tongue out at Jonathan.

 

“You know what else isn’t good for our health? Fighting monsters,” Nancy quips from the back. “Pass me that, will you?” Steve obliges, and she catches it with a grunt.

 

For a few moments, the car is filled with nothing but the sound of chewing and the crinkle of plastic as the bag is tossed from person to person. When the bag is returned to Steve, he notices that all of the green bears are gone. He smiles.

 

Steve pops the last gummy bear in his mouth and tosses the empty bag at Jonathan, who sighs. “Alright, I can’t handle this. What do you want to listen to?”

 

He seems to be talking directly to Steve, so Steve responds with a shrug. “I don’t really listen to music.”

 

Jonathan looks visibly distressed. “Nancy, do you have that mixtape I made you?”

 

“Of course,” Nancy says. After a few moments of rustling, she passes it up to Steve.

 

His heart leaps into his throat, and he stares at the label.  _ **For Nancy**_ , it reads, complete with a little heart. It’s simple, but it reminds him of all he can’t have.  _Which is what, exactly? Jonathan_ _giving  you mixtapes? Or giving Nancy mixtapes_ _?_  His brain whispers. He finds he doesn’t know, and that disturbs him, so he brushes it off.

 

Steve gives the mixtape to Jonathan, and a few chords in the first song, he realizes that he recognizes the song. “Time After Time?” He turns to Jonathan, arching a single eyebrow. “Really, Clash? How mainstream of you.”

 

“Only for her,” Jonathan says, looking over his shoulder at Nancy with the sappiest gaze Steve has ever seen.

 

Nancy snorts, but her smile is soft. “Don’t worry, he’ll “educate” you soon enough,” she says, rolling her eyes.

 

Jonathan makes a scandalized noise, and Nancy laughs. Steve sits back in his seat, shutting his eyes and basking in the warm sunlight.

 

_If you’re lost, you can look, and you will find me_

 

_Time after time_

 

_If you fall, I will catch you, I’ll be waiting_

 

_Time after time_

 

Steve couldn’t have put it better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is almost exactly 100 words longer than the last one. So far, chapter three is MUCH longer. I guess we'll see?


	3. Chapter 3

On the morning of the fourth day, they come to a stop in Portland, Indiana. Jonathan pulls into a small gas station and gets out of the car, refilling the gas while Nancy uses the bathroom. 

When Nancy comes back, Jonathan rushes into the gas station store to buy more snacks and supplies, leaving Nancy and Steve alone in the car. 

There are a few moments of terse silence, cut suddenly by Nancy's sharp sigh. "We're never gonna solve this if we don't talk," She says. 

Steve shifts, avoiding eye contact. "Solve what?" 

Nancy, much to Steve's surprise, climbs straight over the center console and into the vacant driver's seat. "This," She says, gesturing between them. "I mean, how are we supposed to fight monsters together if we can't hold a conversation?" 

Steve lifts one shoulder, picking at the peeling leather on the seats. "Crisis situation?" He offers, but Nancy elects to ignore him. 

"I know it's awkward, Steve, but how do we get over this?" She asks, crossing her arms. 

Steve looks up, through the windshield. He makes eye contact with Jonathan through the window of the little store. Jonathan smiles a little, offering a small wave. Steve waves back, a gentle curve to his lips. 

"It's not that," he says, letting his hand fall to his lap. 

"Then what is it?" Nancy turns so she's facing Steve completely, folding her legs in front of her and tilting her head, like a curious cat. 

Steve looks at her, brow furrowed. He opens his mouth, but no words come out- he's not sure what to say. _I'm confused. I don't know who I like anymore. I don't know **what** I like anymore._

So he just closes it, looking at Nancy as she looks at him, mind moving faster than he can process. He knows, deep down, why he can't look at Nancy- it's not the aggression and steadfast determination, the qualities that first drew him to her- no, it's him, and his own mounting confusion. 

Steve opens his mouth to tell her as much, and the car door opens. 

Jonathan's head pokes in, and he looks from Steve to Nancy with a half-frown on his features. "Sorry," he murmurs, and the spell breaks. 

"It's nothing," Steve blurts, reaching behind him for the door handle. "I'm just going to the bathroom, actually." He curses mentally, casting a glance down at the car door. 

"Okay," Jonathan says, looking bemused. Steve's hand finally falls on the handle, and he springs from the car as if it were on fire. 

He practically sprints to the decidedly filthy bathroom, locking himself inside and stumbling to the sink, gripping the sides of the basin like a lifeline. He splashes water on his face, panting, and glares at his reflection in the cracked mirror. 

"Get it together, Harrington," he growls, expression the epitome of his own disappointed father, and watches a bead of water roll off his chin and drip into the drain. 

He uses the bathroom and washes his hands before heading back to the car, feeling considerably lighter than before. He slides into the passenger seat and gives Jonathan a genuine smile. "Ready to hit the road?" He asks. 

"Yeah," Jonathan responds, his own smile hesitant. He twists in his seat to look back at Nancy. "You?" 

She murmurs a quiet assent, and they're off, the car backing out of the lot so fast the tires screech. Steve looks over at Jonathan in admiration as the other boy laughs, watching the figure of an angry worker shrink in his review mirror. 

Steve finds himself laughing as the familiar chords of The Clash fill the small car, and he grins over at Jonathan with unbridled delight. 

Jonathan’s smiling, really smiling for the first time Steve’s ever seen and it takes his breath away. 

The teen reminds Steve of Will, when he drove the boy to school, fingers tapping on the dashboard as he hummed along to the lyrics, much like Jonathan now, as his fingers thump along the edge of the steering wheel. 

“Will loves this song,” Steve hears himself saying, and Jonathan’s grin brightens. 

Nancy pipes up from the back. “I’m pretty this song is on every mixtape he owns,” She teases. 

Jonathan huffs. “Is not.” 

“Mhm,” Nancy says, clearly skeptical. “Whatever you say.” 

Steve laughs again, tapping his feet along to the beat. As the last few bars of the song swell louder, he tilts his head back and sings. 

_So, you gotta let me know_

_Should I stay or should I go?_

——— 

A few days pass. They cross the line between Indiana and Idaho; Jonathan grins delightedly at Nancy and squeezes her hand, and Steve tries to ignore the twang in his heart. 

Finally, they stop in a motel parking lot. Jonathan kills the engine and waits expectantly. 

Nancy speaks first. “Okay, I’ll bite. What is it?” 

“I found a monster,” Jonathan says, pulling a newspaper from his waistband and setting it on the center console. 

Steve picks it up first, scanning the headline. 

**Missing Child Not Body Found In Woods**

_The Ohio State Police have confirmed the body found in the woods is not the body of Missy Bowie. Missy Bowie, aged 10, has been missing for thirteen days. She vanished on her way home from school. She was last seen on the corner of First and Jackson. Witness reports she had a skinned knee, but was otherwise unharmed. She was wearing a yellow jacket and black leggings._

_The body found was her mother, Margarita “Peggy” Bowie. She was last seen three days prior to her death, claiming to have found her daughter’s killer._

_Read more on page 3._

A sick feeling settles in the bottom of Steve’s stomach, and he looks up at Jonathan, mutely passing the paper to Nancy. 

Nancy sucks in a sharp breath, and Steve clears his throat. 

“Are we sure this is a monster?” He asks. His voice sounds quieter than he meant it to be, and he clears his throat again. 

“Yeah. The woman at the gas station was convinced. Said it looked like a large dog, but with no fur.” 

Nancy and Steve exchange looks. A horrible thought starts to creep in the back of Steve’s mind, and he doesn’t manage to stamp it out before it reaches the forefront, nearly tumbling out of his lips. 

_What if one of us doesn’t make it?_

The question is reflected in the other’s eyes, and he steels his nerves, straightening with confidence he doesn’t feel. 

“Let’s kill this son of a bitch,” he says. Nancy and Jonathan both nod grimly. 

They gather their few bags and make their way inside, to the front desk. 

“One bed, or two?” The receptionist asks, her nails clacking on the countertop. 

Nancy and Jonathan both turn to Steve, eyebrows raised. 

Steve asks the price difference. She tells him, and he blanches. 

“The sofa has a pullout option,” she says, eyes softening a little. 

Steve clears his throat. “One bed is fine,” he says firmly. 

Jonathan pays in cash, thoroughly startling her, and Steve helps Nancy carry the bags up to their given room. 

The room is small and dirty, but Nancy nearly cries when she sees the shower, and quickly uses it first, leaving Jonathan and Steve alone in the room. Jonathan looks forlornly at the closed door, and Steve mentally kicks himself. 

“Oh- uh, do you want me to go get something to eat?” He asks. “I think I saw a McDonalds on the way in.” The words are a lie, but it’s highly likely that there’s one in town, and the grateful look on Jonathan’s face is worth it. 

“Are you sure?” Jonathan asks, even as he glances at the bathroom door again. “I can-” 

“No, really, I’ve got it. I need to stretch my legs anyway,” Steve says with an awkward chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck. _Plus, you and your girlfriend could use some alone time._ He tries not to think about it too hard, and fails. 

Jonathan looks grateful. “Alright, thanks,” he says, and Steve knows the words run deeper than they appear on the surface. 

He smiles tightly. “Yeah, no problem.” Cash in hand, he slips out the door, pulling the hood of his sweater over his unwashed hair. 

He wanders town for a little while, looking for a burger joint or a diner he can grab food at. Real food, not the gas station garbage they’d been eating. 

His focus is fractured, mainly by thoughts of Jonathan and Nancy. The tension building the pair between the past few days had been palpable, and now they were resolving it. 

Steve wonders almost idly if Jonathan has joined her in the shower or if he would wait until after; if those breathless little noises would tear from her lips; if she would cry when it was over, and hold him tight, the way she had with Steve. 

Steve catches a glimpse of his reflection in a window and comes up short. 

How had he gone from King Steve, the most popular kid in town, to this? 

A sad man in a borrowed sweater, half-hard from imagining his friends having sex. 

He shakes his head in disgust and keeps walking, keeping his gaze on the bright signs and focusing his energy on finding a place to get dinner. 

Luckily, when he returns, it doesn’t appear as if anything has happened; Nancy is curled against Jonathan, slim form covered by one of Steve’s old sweaters, her head resting against his shoulder, both of them still damp. 

_So he joined her in the shower,_ Steve thinks. He tries not to think about it. 

“Is that my sweater?” Jonathan looks at Steve with an unreadable expression, and Steve glances down, as if he hadn’t noticed it wasn’t his. As if the faint smell of smoke and Jonathan’s cologne hadn’t been the whole reason he’d picked it up. 

“Oh, yeah, I guess it is,” he says. “Sorry, you can have it.” He pulls it over his head and tosses it on the bed, exposing his bare chest. “Here’s food- I ate mine on the way here.” He sets the greasy paper bag on the floor next to them. 

Jonathan covers the wheezing noise he makes with a cough. “Thanks,” he says, voice tight. 

“I didn’t know what anyone liked, so I just got plain cheeseburgers.” Steve crosses his arms over his chest, feeling self-conscious. 

A strangled noise escaped Jonathan’s throat. “That’s fine, thanks,” he says, coughing again. 

“Alright,” Steve says. “I’m going to take a shower.” 

Nancy whispers something in Jonathan’s arm. He chokes and slaps her arm, and she laughs. 

Steve slips into the bathroom with no further ado. 

Thirty minutes and a muffled orgasm later, Steve finds himself staring at himself in the mirror for the second time that day, knuckles white and mind swirling. 

_I’m in love,_ he realizes dumbly. 

_Well, fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it’s been so long! I’ve kind of lost motivation in this fandom recently, but I’ve learned that the best way to deal with it is to just push through.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm trying a new writing style out for this fic, so sorry about the quality. 
> 
> come yell at me on [tumblr ](https://ahoytrashmouth.tumblr.com/)


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